Let me just start this off by introducing myself. I’m Katie. My wonderful hubby is Martin. We aren’t parents yet, but we really really want to be.  I’m trying to put our story out there, because I know that I’m always searching for information and personal stories dealing with infertility. I wish I could say our story is unique (and it is for us, because it’s our story), but I know a lot of women struggle with infertility. This blog is just my way of venting about, communicating, and sharing our journey toward parenthood.

So, this really isn’t the beginning, and I’ve been hesitant about writing anything simply because we aren’t pregnant yet.  I thought, ”I’ll just wait until we get pregnant and our story actually starts.” But, our story is sooooo already going on!

On April 24, 2009 we got a big fat positive. A plus sign that meant so much. Here I was…baby on board. We had only been trying for 3 months, yet I remember thinking that day, as I glanced at what a thought was another negative pregnancy test; “I’m never going to get pregnant.”

Then, as I casually glanced at it again before dropping it in the trash can, I saw it, super faint but a positive no less. I remember tapping on my belly and quietly whispering, “Are you in there?” The rest is a blur. I thought I was going to tell Martin in a super cute, cool, unique way, but as soon as he walked in the door I just held up the pregnancy test and I think I blurted out that I was pregnant. Craziness and giddiness insued! I think our dogs thought we were crazy, but they knew even before Martin.

I wish that was it…end of story…and they lived happily ever after. But it’s not, it was just the beginning of our journey. Our sweet baby never developed past 6 weeks, and on June 10 at 10 weeks pregnant I had to have a DNC. I can’t even describe the emotional hell that time period was. Tears come into my eyes just typing it. I have to fast forward.

We were given the go ahead to start trying again after 3 cycles. But my period never came. So we waited and waited and finally in September I was given a prescription for Provera to start my cycle. To this day, I still haven’t had a natural period, and need Provera to stimulate all my cycles. After a few months I was diagnosed with PCOS, and it was decided that in order to ovulate, Clomid would be the best option for us.

February of this year, we started out with 50mg Clomid…and nothing, nadda, zip. So this month my dosage was upped to 100mg, and the jury is still out as to whether or not 100mg is the right dosage to get some eggs a-flowin. So, now we’re all caught up. Phew!!! That was kinda emotionally exhausting and pretty sad for me. I promise not all of the entries will be like this. I just wanted to catch up and commit what we’ve been through up to this point. Next time, I’ll give ya a little bit more info about this month’s clomid story, and we’ll go from there. So, this is Holland Baby Book, and it’s really for me and Martin, and if other people tune in from time to time…welcome!